Gloomy Thoughts : Whats The Way Out?

Many people in their life at least once feel that life is really worthless and they dont have any point in living this painful experience. They feel that its better to finish it off in once than to go through the same torture every single minute. Well to an extent this feeling is justified in my view as Julius Ceaser once said that " I may find a man who is willing to give his life for me but it would be really difficult to find someone who is willing to endure the pain and fight for the goal." I guess most of us will agree to this statement. Well I am human and I have my share of these thoughts too when sometimes I felt that what I am doing with my life and its better to put a full stop than to living the life in all commas. But I again stumble upon the bigger picture where I think of this broader question "Is my life only my life? or Is it such a waste that I should just quit and end it? or why not devout this life to some meaningful purposes atleast that would something in somebody's life? or why to waste whatever I have learned till now and why try to solve so many burning issues pending in front of humanity?".

Well some of you might be laughing that this guy who isnt even able to solve his life's small problem is talking of devoting life to some bigger cause. But I saw many instances where a negative incident in someone's life changed the whole world. Whether its throwing of Mahatma Gandhi from train or insult of Chankya by Dhananand or insult of Goswami Tulsidas by his wife. In all these instances these great men learned from the mistake of others who were insulting them and saw their mission in greater things.

Thats what my thought is. Why to waste this precious gift of God. Why not start the change from with in and get devoted to something bigger in life. These gloomy thoughts have their origin in many things but result is same. These thoughts drive a healthy mind for doing stupid and crazy things which it wont be doing when situation was normal. I often wonder why the love affairs which break many times dont break on good note. Why there is so much abuse for the same person who was apple of your eye sometimes back. May be some situations force either of them to do it where the other one thinks that its better to see their partner happy with some one else than to be unhappy with you throughout the life. But i guess this thinking is wrong because some temporary situation which forced you to take that breakup decision might not be valid one and it may happen that you end up repenting that one decision throughout your life. Many times it happens out of getting something better. But I guess if you live with someone and than leave them just to be with someone better in your thoughts you are taking a selfish decision which is bound to fail. As in matter of hearts selfishness dont have any place. Why these breaks hurt some one so badly that it drives them to do insanely things. When you start that beautiful thing with someone you never think that this beauty is going to end. Well lovers are most optimist or most pessimist people of the world. They dont follow the middle path.

When there is even slight chance of being with each other they become so happy that they forget everything and when something doesnt go their way they just want to destroy the world. I guess this is the special breed of humans. I know by writing it all here isnt going to solve anyone's problem. People will continue to do what they want. These wants till they die are the only source of misery. I want to be a free bird who doesnt care about anything. I want to live life tension free but that doesnt always happen. I am ordinary so my fate is ordinary and it will proceed on its own way. I have only one thing in my hand only one thing which is doing my job properly and I guess rest will be taken care by God. I shouldnt waste my life like this. Its worth is pains if I am able to make even some positive change in someone's life. I dont want to destroy this precious gift of God. I would like to die while doing God's work. He and he alone should decide when he wants to take this thing from me. It was given by him and it would be proper if he takes it own his own. I shouldnt interfere in his process. I should let things take their own course and just float on life's river as he wants me to do.